Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Pun fun

A friend emailed this to me.

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic....It's syncing now.

When chemists di
e,they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood
- but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job
because she couldn't control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary ?
A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in
New York's police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player,
love means nothing.


  1. Oh thanks for the laughs. My husband and I were rolling. As he is half German and a Vet he loved the third and fourth ones the best. I loved them all.
    blessings, jilly

    1. :) Glad you enjoyed them.

    2. now every one will hate me because I will be puner than them

  2. hehehehehehe! every now and again, it is a good thing to have a giggle or two..these were all really good!

  3. Takes away my stress. I would love to have a house like that.

  4. Words of wisdom, here! Made me LOL this morning, a great start to my day... have a super weekend Rose!

  5. Friend: P.E. was hard today.
    Me: What did you do?
    Friend: I ran
    Me: And Iraq

  6. As a fellow punster, I approve of this post very highly! :)

  7. I'm confused about the last one, can someone explain it?

    1. In a tennis game, instead of saying that someone's score is zero, they call it love. So for example, a score could be 15-Love, instead of 15-0.

      This means that to a tennis player, the word 'love' is equivalent to zero, or nothing.

  8. I wonder how many puns sans can put here... hmm

  9. I wonder how many puns sans can put here... hmm


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